“My friend recently had her first kiss. When she called to tell me the news she said she hadn’t realized there could be “so many worlds to explore in a single mouth”. She also said it in many ways reminded her of “eating something slimy.” I smiled for a long time about that one. A few days ago I was telling this same friend about something Frida Kahlo said before she died. She said, “I hope the leaving is joyful, and I hope never to return.” My friend asked me, “Do you think you want to return?” As soon as she asked the question I started crying. I thought about every year of my life, every hard fist of a moment, and it broke my heart to think I might not choose to come back. For whatever reason, the days, they do not slow river into me. They never have, and lately the moments have been especially rough. Last week I said to a friend (not the kissing friend), “I wish I could take naps… life would be a whole lot easier if there were less of it.” We both laughed. Laughing is medicine. I have a personality I developed whose only job is to laugh at the personality in me that’s depressed as hell. I have another personality that screams at them both, another that does nothing but bounce on a mini trampoline, and yet another that tries to make sense of it all via poems about the moon. It is this final personality that in the end, thank god, always seems to win. This personality says “Yes. Yes. I think I do want to return. Mostly for the kissing, for the slimy kissing, for the many worlded kissing, the only time I know for absolute certain I am not praying alone. “”
things I’ve learned to say to boys:
-you’re not funny
-don’t talk to me like I’m dumb
-I probably know more about this than you do
-don’t fucking talk about her like that
-I’m not comfortable with this
-I don’t owe you anything
-you just repeated exactly what I said
-no
Mycroft kidnapping John in ASiP like “how soon can you marry my brother? the end of the week? when will I have this happy annoucement? no seriously I need you to pick a side. the side of my lonely gay brother. I need you to decide RIGHT NOW if you’re dedicating your life to my brother. he is a crier and if you aren’t 100% committed he will cry and I will detain you and erase all records of your existence. he doesn’t have any friends by the way, so he could be all yours, you jealous trash bin. imagine how much a person like my weirdo brother would need you. that’s nice, isn’t it? being needed? imagine all your days being like the war you miss so much. whelp, balance of probability is looking like you’re going to marry him so I’m going to let you off with a warning, but I’ll be in touch”
oh damn and john was so fucking protective bc he’d already adopted sherlock as his sensitive emotional pseudo-husband and mycroft was just trying to make sure john knew what he was getting into but john was having none of it. like “take care of my poor baby brother for me” “bitch u stay away from us i need to protect this sad gay child i LITERALLY JUST moved in with step off bruv” i swear he was preparing himself to shoot mycroft until sherlock mentioned he was his brother omg
John literally has the assistant of the guy he wants to kill drop him off to GET the weapon he intends to kill her boss with
take time to figure it out 