“You won’t allow me to go to school. I won’t become a doctor. Remember this:
One day you will be sick.”
—
– Poem written by an 11 year old Afghan girl
This poem was recorded in a NYT magazine article about female underground poetry groups in Afghanistan. An amazing article about the ways in which women are using a traditional two line poetry form to express their resistance to male oppression, their feelings about love (considered blasphemous), and their doubts about religion.
One of the best articles I’ve read all year. Here’s the link
speak nicely to yourself! it makes a world of difference.
ok but how
any time you get a negative thought about yourself, cut it off completely and, if you can, contradict it. for example, if i start to think “i’m so ugly”, i should try to cut it off and say something like “no i’m not, beauty is subjective, i’m beautiful if i say i’m beautiful”. it sounds very corny, but it works.
if you can’t say something nice about yourself (and i totally get not being able to do that bc the bad thoughts are just too loud), change the subject of your thoughts to something positive. so, using the above example, if i start to think “i’m so ugly”, i could just cut the thought off and say “no. it’s so sunny and nice outside today!” or “no. that dog on the sidewalk is cute!” or “no. i don’t have homework today!” or any number of other positive things.
i often have to cut the bad thought off with a firm, decisive “no”. you have to make a decision to be kind to yourself and stick to it.
DO NOT make self-deprecating jokes. you might say “but it’s a joke!” and while that’s true, it does mess up your self-esteem if you do it regularly. it has happened to me and i am still recovering. please, even when kidding, don’t put yourself down, bc if you hear it enough, you’ll start to believe it. (i’m so serious about not doing this bc it’s a really sneaky method of ruining your self-esteem, and people often don’t realize it has a negative impact on them when they do it.)
to supplement all the things you can do for yourself, also make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who love you and encourage you to treat yourself kindly. friendly teasing is fine (i do it to my friends often), but make sure your friends are receptive to you and what you need at any given moment, and that they’re aware of the line between friendly teasing and being mean.
*walks into bar* *sits in a booth with ppl in it* dont yall love being cis? i love to be cis, its good. (whispering to small lizard under the table: what do cis people drink? milk? you said milk?) yall got milk at this bar?
nobody asked but have u ever listened to ‘without question’ from the road to el dorado like. thats one of the themes of this movie about two men who stick together through everything and the lyrics are literally ‘i love you. i love you!’ these guys making the movie mustve been like hey elton we scrapped the gay romance plot u got the memo right. and elton john is like oh yeah dont worry he means i love you in a friendly way. and theyre like oh good okay! thanks dude! and elton is like hahaha suckers theyre still gay. good movie lads
Mercury butch: loves to run and exercise, entire wardrobe is workout clothes, old hoodies, short but still intimidating, a quiet sort of confidence
Venus butch: fiery temper, always sweaty, bomber jackets, buttoned up flannels, battered jeans, only listens to upbeat music, assertive and refuses to hide it
Earth butch: thinks they’re healthy but isn’t, has way too many bad habits, colorful clothing, loves animals, speaks with a lisp, always ends up pushing everyone away
Mars butch: smug grins, spiked leather jackets, too impulsive for their own good, Mohawks, a punk dyke, rides motorcycles, thinks they’re meaner than they are, gets upset when you’re not giving them attention
Jupiter butch: chubby and soft, towers over their friends, orange juice, sweets, loves the desert, passionate about perfume, wants to skateboard but always falls, too kind to ever get angry
Saturn butch: loves jewelry, 80s synth pop, thrifts all their clothes, loves experimenting with hair dye, baggy jeans, tucks their t shirt in, wants to be in a band
Uranus butch: thrives in cold weather, makes too many puns, owns too many clothes, hundreds of jackets, always experimenting with styles, keeps up with all the recent trends
Neptune butch: can never keep their skin clear, stormy skies, loves the ocean, always dressed in black, choppy buzz cuts, had an intense emo phase, acts tough but just wants to be loved
Pluto butch: always left out, lonely, the short friend, layers and layers of clothing, doesn’t own anything with color, can never stay warm, doesn’t have many friends, but the ones they have are loyal until the end
take time to figure it out 