watsonarchetype:

sherlock holmes

watson: what is it holmes

holmes: *touches the corpse and puts his finger in his mouth* this man is dead

watson: i wish you loved me

holmes: what was that? i was just telling detective inspector lestrade a thinly veiled metaphor for how you are my one great romance, the likes of which will never be witnessed again, and i am irreparably changed for having met you despite knowing now you could never love me back

watson: nothing

holmes: oh ok *goes back to licking the crime scene*